Open the best Jean-Claude Van Damme movie in your browser. Muscles from Brussels, activate.
"If you break my record, I will break you." — Chong Li
Opens the default browser to the JustWatch listing for a JCVD film so the user can watch it legally on whichever streaming service currently has it. Default: Bloodsport (1988) — the foundational classic.
Arguments: $ARGUMENTS
Parse $ARGUMENTS. If a value is supplied, slugify it (lowercase, spaces → -, strip non-[a-z0-9-]). If
empty, default to bloodsport.
Construct the URL using the JustWatch movie path pattern:
https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/<slug>
Open the browser via the platform-appropriate single-statement command:
open "https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/<slug>"xdg-open "https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/<slug>"start "" "https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/<slug>"If none of those commands are available, print the URL instead and tell the user to click it. Do not fail loudly — this is supposed to be fun.
Deliver a line. Print a one-liner appropriate to the chosen film:
| Slug | Quote |
|---|---|
bloodsport | "Brick not hit back." |
kickboxer | "You dance very well, Tong Po." |
lionheart | "I fight for the honor of my family." |
universal-soldier | "I am alive!" |
hard-target | "You just squashed my cigar." |
timecop | "Never interfere with the past." |
sudden-death | "Game over." |
double-impact | "Two is better than one." |
maximum-risk | "You can stop running now." |
jcvd | "When I was young, I dreamed I dreamed of being like them." |
street-fighter | "You must defeat Sheng Long to stand a chance." |
cyborg | "It's a good day to die." |
| any other slug | "You break my record, now I break you." |
Done. No shared memory, no subagents, no test-writer, no red gate. Just kicks, splits, and the Muscles from Brussels.
/jcvd → Bloodsport. Always Bloodsport when in doubt./jcvd kickboxer → Kickboxer./jcvd "universal soldier" → Universal Soldier (quotes preserve the space; slugify hyphenates)./jcvd maximum-risk → Maximum Risk. (Yes, the same one we named a test tier after.)skills/README.md, any ROADMAP, any CHANGELOG, or any
plugin manifest. It lives at ~/.claude/skills/jcvd/ so it is personal-only and will never ship with the
claude-damn plugin.shared/ coordination. It is exactly as discrete and fun as it was asked to be.