Negotiating Offers

Use collaborative language - "Are you open to...?"

Phyl Terry: "87% of the time when you ask for more money, you get it. Say 'Are you open to $X? That's what I was hoping for. Is that something we can talk about?'" Conduct the negotiation live (phone or in-person) with the hiring manager if possible. Use "Are you open to...?" to keep the conversation collaborative and lower-risk.

Understand what you're really optimizing for

Bob Moesta: "Compensation is often a surrogate for other needs like respect or learning. I can pay people less if I give them better experiences." Before negotiating aggressively on salary, identify if you're really seeking money or something else (learning, autonomy, respect, growth). Sometimes the right move is to accept less money for better experience.

Consider alternative arrangements

Paul Millerd: "A big move is turning your current job into a contract job - employers are more open than people think. Say 'I want to work three days a week as a contractor. Are you open to this?'" If flexibility matters more than maximizing salary, propose specific alternative arrangements. Frame the reduced risk for the employer as a benefit.

Questions to Help Users

• "What's the full offer - base, equity, bonus, and other terms?"
• "What do you actually need to succeed in this role that you might not get by default?"
• "Is salary the thing you really care about, or is it a proxy for something else?"
• "What's your alternative if this negotiation doesn't work out? Do you have other offers?"
• "Have you done the live conversation yet, or is it still over email?"
• "What specific number or terms are you hoping to get to?"

Common Mistakes to Flag

• Only negotiating salary - The resources, authority, and support you need to succeed are often more valuable than a few thousand in comp
• Negotiating only over email - Live conversations build relationship and are more effective. Request a call with the hiring manager
• Using adversarial language - "Are you open to...?" is more effective than demands or ultimatums
• Not asking at all - Most of the time when you ask for more, you get it. The risk of asking is lower than most people think
• Optimizing for the wrong thing - Make sure you know if you really want more money or if salary is a proxy for respect, growth, or autonomy

Deep Dive

For all 4 insights from 3 guests, see references/guest-insights.md

Related Skills

• Building a Promotion Case
• Finding Mentors & Sponsors
• Career Transitions
• Having Difficult Conversations